Crapometer Category Voting Results---it's about time Miss Snark got off her sorry slacker ...couch

Category: Most helpful synopsis (and 25 words or less about WHY)

#23 - when you say the synopsis is one of the best you've ever seen, thatsure as heck makes me want to emulate it!

#75 Gordath Wood: Your advice clarified what to leave in and what to leave out and provided an acceptable way to cut down the length of a synopsis.

Clear winner: “my own”

Category: Synopsis that made me want to read the book

Second place: #13
Winner in a total landslide: #58

Category: Synopsis that made you want to read a book in a category you normally wouldn't

Tied for Second place: #16, #58, #70

Winner in a squeaker: #57

Category: Most helpful comments

#94 "Even when you make stuff up, you have to get all the details just right so we’re focused on the things you want us to be thinking about, not wondering why something doesn’t make sense."

#23, for the comment 'It's ok to tell not show in a synopsis'.

#61 (You give a basic outline for a synopsis here.)

#98: "This is just plain excellent." The comment forced me to study the synopsis even though the story put me to sleep. And okay, the synopsis is excellent for the naturalness of its flow and for the way it shows how very, very well the story works while the story is putting me to sleep.

And the overwhleming winner: Multiple entries: Aliens have officially arrived!

Category: Best "coffee through the nose" comment (include synopsis number and comment)

Honorable Mention:

#14 "Fictional novel" is one of those phrases that makes me want to set my hair on fire.

#23 "Killer Yapp here: What happens to the victim of the dognapping?? Email me at once."

#28 "And why the hell is her name spelled Tiphanie."

#30 "No *69 on the demon dialer?"

#51 "Your prose looks like rococo furniture, no flourish left furled."

#60 "Yea, that's where I do my best criminal scheming: public parties."

#92 "Question: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Answer: Lobster. Question: Does the fact that this synopsis remind me of that joke bode well? Answer: no."

Batting cleanup, the winner is:

#93 "Yep, that's EXACTLY what I'd do in the hands of a serial scrubber--I'd argue with a guy about why he doesn't love me."


Anonymous said...

Speaking of "coffee through the nose" moments, Miss Snark, could you please pass along to all the writers out there (who don't know the difference already) that their writing is only "entitled" to exist (thanks to our freedom of speech, for however long that lasts). Shakespeare's play was not "entitled" TO BE OR NOT TO BE. It was "titled" TO BE OR NOT TO BE. Shakespeare was entitled to title it as such (if indeed he wrote it), and it was entitled to be or not to be staged based on the whim of a snarky red-headed Virgoan queen, but I digress.

Any agent who receives a query letter that reads "I have written a novel entitled [WHATEVER]" should feel entitled to drop it in the shredder along with any SASE that came with it!

Bernita said...

It certainly wasn't entitled "To Be Or Not To Be", nor was it titled "To Be Or Not To Be" - the title of that play was "Hamlet."

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

In my dictionary the first and thus primary definition of "entitled" is "to give a name or title to."

I think "anonymous" should read more and write less. Start with Shakespeare and end with the OED.

Oh what a tangled weave we wove
when into the dictionary we dove.

We hit our head against the entries for Wall and Brick and Bat

and forgot in our erudition
that words have more than one definition. . . .

Insta poem by Rachael

Ok so it's not a good poem. . .But what do you expect?

Mindy Tarquini said...

It certainly wasn't entitled "To Be Or Not To Be", nor was it titled "To Be Or Not To Be" - the title of that play was "Hamlet."

Bernita - you win the most recent coffee through the nose statement. And I admit to being disappointed, even in crappiness, I can only manage an Honorable Mention...

I'm uncertain how to word the dubious honor on my next query letter.

Ah well, back to writing. And thanks again, Miss Snark. You're tops. Gotta tell you, what the Snarklings have, in general, is a sense of humor. And one needs a lot of that in this business.

Susan said...

I wish the winning posts had links to them. But I know that's very time consuming. I'm having trouble going back and locating them.

Susan said...

When is the next open-submission period for synopses for the Crapometer? Is this an annual event?

Anonymous said...

the meaning in the OED "to give a name or title to" doesn't mean you can use the word before a title. so, "i have entitled my novel..." is correct but "i have written a novel entitled MY FRIEND LEONARDO" is incorrect.

McKoala said...

But back to the crapometer... Thanks! Interesting to see the results.

Miss Snark said...

Susan, you cruel cruel thing.
The crapometer is taking a rest cure.
I think it threw a rod, or spared a rod and spoiled a file, or something like that.

Don't look for the C to be back for some time.

Anonymous said...

I'm entitled to my title: Kick Ass Poodle of Central Park West.

npetrikov said...

Rachael's insta poem is to die for, and quite as good as some of Mr. Bentley's clerihews (though not as good as some others; sorry, Rachael).

"Fictional novel": Surely, Miss Snark, you've heard of roman a clef? That's a novel based on fact. A "fictional novel," you see, is a roman sans clue.

I just made that up. And no more Tom and Jerry for ME.

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Oh! I got a good review, sorta. That's so much fun! Thank you for the kind words.

Anonymous should submit
chapter and verse,
from someone with talent to edit.

Those boys in Chicago or Fowler
or someone with power --
Let's consult them.

I'd like some proof of the assertion,
or from his opinions there will be desertion.

Where's the Red Queen when you need her?

Insta poem by Rachael. Hey it rhymes. Best I can do when I'm still groggy and haven't had my morning coffee.

The Goats are unfed.
I've just tumbled from bed.
My eyes are all . . .
You thought red?
They're sore.

Bonnie S. Calhoun said...

Yea, Bernita, I second M.G. that was a good coffee through the nose, you're the woman when it comes to that era of writing.

M.G. we'll have to settle for honorable mentions...LOL

Jo Bourne said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jo Bourne said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jo Bourne said...

Hi Susan -

To quickly find the synopsis you want ..

Go to the blog week
December 25, 2005
to December 31, 2005.

It's in that list on the right sidebar, way down near the bottom.


You hit these two simultaneously.

This should open a window that says 'find'

Type in the number of the synopsis you want to see.

Hit enter.

Bob's yer uncle, nu?

who has a vested interest in making it easy to find synopsis 13