Querying Miss Snark

I am new to your blog and boy am I glad I found it. Anybody who uses WTF as much as you do---well, you are my gal.

Killer Yap is certainly lucky to have the pleasure of knowing the real you—which brings me to my point.

Your posts, your line of thinking, your abrupt but tender personality—I want to…………query you.

My agent search is just beginning and all the horror stories of dud agents, not returning phone calls, disappearing off the face of the earth for years.

And this from people who felt good about their choice.

I know you wouldn’t do such a thing. (Miss Snark hides her tickets to Antarctica)

So maybe, I was thinking, you might share some information with me (only me) so that I can contact you. Nothing of the stalker sort… does K Yap accepts email queries? (yes, but you really don't want to know what he does with them---litigation is in fact pending about unnatural use of a mouse)

Look I appreciate the vote of confidence, I really do. It beats the hell out of "agents are slime pods cause they want you to pay for your own rejection letters". But despite my warm and fuzzy bunny slipper response, I'm not going to let you query me here, and I'm not going to out myself to you.

Rest assured, if you query NYC based agents you'll probably end up on my slush pile.

And for those of you who are working on non-fiction, particularly geared for the same audience that reads chick lit, you'd do well to zip over to Kate Epstein's new agency and give her a shout. She's just hung out her own shingle, she was formerly an editor at Adams, and I think she's got a great career ahead of her. Tell her Miss Snark says howdy while you're at it.


Elektra said...
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Anonymous said...

Oh, come on, it's just little old me, and I'm not from the Smoking Gun, honest. Just whisper your name in my pearl-like little ear. I won't tell.

Trust me, Little Miss Snark. Come closer. I have some gin for you, and a steak for your little dog, all in my nice shiny car.

Brian Farrey said...

It's amazing how much you can learn here--clearer than any "how to get published" and better because it's honest.

So, please, your royal Snarkness, in relation to this post, do you often send queries to other agents? For instance, if you got something on your desk and thought, "It's pretty good but not what I do, however Agent Wendigo digs this," would you contact that writer and suggest Agent Wendigo? Would you pass the stuff along to Wendigo yourself (if you knew her)?

Similarly, do editors recommend other publishers/editors when you present material to them? "I'm not looking for This Week's Da Vinci Code WannaBe but Editor Chupacabra over at Mystery House would kill to get this."


Mark said...

I did.

Sal said...

(Miss Snark hides her tickets to Antarctica)

Say ... his nibs and I are headed off to Antarctica in mid/late February as soon as we get back from AAAS in St. Louis.

If I promise to wear a pink carnation and carry a copy of L'ETRANGER and we wind up sitting next to each other at the local toss and slosh, would you say, hey?

Or should I just keep an eye out for Killer Yap (tartan down-filled parka and all)?

We never hit the internet cafes when we're away from home base, so your secret will be safe.

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark, I'm wondering - have you ever seen anything from the crapometer turn up in your slush pile?

Christa M. Miller said...

Actually, a friend and I (geeks that we are) have been having great fun researching agents and comparing their info to "hints" we think Miss Snark drops here at the blog. We do this even though we ARE married with kids and jobs and houses and books to write. Because it's fun. And because we both hope someday to attain the level of the Snarkosphere and bask in the sunlight up there. Did I mention we're geeks?

Dee said...

So, huh, what do you have against Kate Epstein? Can you imagine the tons and tons of queries, ms and other dead trees heading her way, based on your word, and all of them mentioning your name. :-0

I wouldn't accept any gin from her...

Anonymous said...

I am that new that I am saying thank you, thank you. I'm very flattered. The Snarklings are made savvier by reading Miss Snark, and hence will not do my pet peeves: group emails to 40 agents, submissions of something I don't do (check the website, I make no secrets), or emailing me back nastily when I say, sorry, it's not for me.

Anonymous said...

*crosses Kate Epstein off list of Possible Miss Snarks*

(I keed, I keed--keep your anonymity, it's more fun that way for all of us, really)

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark,

You are hilarious! Candid, open, funny.