Not so fast Elektra!

The Spawn of Crap appears to need fodder.
Why y'all aren't over there working on your stuff eludes me.
It's all good and well to park yourself here and listen to Miss Snark rant and rave but really..shouldn't you be..yanno...working?


Anonymous said...

guilty as charged.
I have lost many hours of writing time to reading your blog, and a few others of the same ilk.
Research? or avoidal?

Anonymous said...

Mark me alongside the should be working but instead I'm Snarking.

It's soooo easy to tell yourself that it is at least work-related, because...yanno...it is!

writtenwyrdd said...

Avoidance is easy, writing is hard.

Elektra said...

Have I ever mentioned that I heart Miss Snark?

Stacia said...

I'm just trying to get past the halfway point of my WIP before I send the first chapter over! Only 10k words to go, Elektra.

(BTW--a book I subbed the first 2 chapters of to the COM, and revised according to the excellent comments given there, sold and will be released in December. I'm not saying that to publicize my own work, but to emphasize that subbing there is definitely worth it. So go do it.)

Anonymous said...

I am working. I'm doing copy edits and it's just a real whole lot of fun.

Word verification is tkcxnix.

Rei said...

Anonymous 1:
Avoidance. ;)

I haven't submitted there recently because my current work is only a few chapters in, and I haven't polished the earlier chapters yet. But, because I want to see the crapometer keep running, I did a once-over polishing on the first chapter and sent it along.

It's too good of a critique group to let die off.

Rei said...

Also, it'll be November soon, so perhaps some of the more serious NaNo'ers will come along.

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

I like the Crapometer. Some of the comments are spot on, and very helpful. One soon learns to whom one must listen. There are two or three on there whose comments cannot be and should not be ignored.

Send Elektra your stuff. Go do it! Now, ya hear?

I am certain I'll get the hang of talkin' cowboy soon. If I can only supress this funny accent .... Only thing is, I'm sure I'll never get that "cow" thing right. It's sorta like Ka'ha ow. or maybe its more like Ka-ow. See, I can't even put that into phonogramic pictorialization. (Hey! Martha!! Come read this! What the heck and blue blazes is "phonogramic pictorialization"?)

Why the cowfolk 'round these parts can't just demurely say "cow" without extra, strange consonantal breathings and a strange and dreamy look in their eyes is beyond me. I've wondered about that strange and dreamy look too. Oh, I'm familiar with that look, just not in the context of a cow. Most odd.

You gotta love the cowboy hats though. I got myself a very nice Resistol. Makes me look very cowboyish. Cowgirlish? Well, very Western.

Now, about the Crapometer d'Elecktra: It's a fun place, though as with all critique sites, you will find a puzzling and well ... just dumb … comment sometimes. I promise, I will never make a dumb comment on what you write if you post it there. I save all my dumb comments for this blog and for poor Anna G's blog. I'm trying so hard not to be dumb and confuse the poor woman. (Anna, that is. Confusing Miss Snark is fun and a large part of my pathetic life.)

So get yourself over there to Crapometer.blogspot.com. Meet Chumplet, Koala, Ken Boy (Listen most carefully to these three) and the rest of the good'uns.

Be nice to Elektra. We pixies know our own, and we watch out for Elektra. Remember, pixies can instantly grow the hunt-teeth. We do bite. Many bad'uns find our bite fatal. -- I think it's because we don't brush before we bite.

Anonymous said...

Dear Miss Snark,

I'll admit, I'm a nitwit. Probably even a simpleton. I even lived in NYC for a year (a long time ago) and thought I was good at sniffing out sarcasm, but you have me stumped. I don't know if your reference to Elektra's Crapometer is an honest encouragement, or if the title of "Spawn of Crap" is saying you don't think it's worth our time and effort.

Go ahead, Nitify me, I can take it. Just sometimes I can't wade through your sharp wit to understand your true meaning.

And yes, if I ever stop obsessing about "What kernel of wisdom am I missing by not hovering over MS's erudite blog right this very instant?" I might actually get something written for Petie's sake.

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark, you've inspired me. I'm logging off and getting to work!

Anonymous said...

I'm with nitwitoday. I had trouble reading between the lines here.

In the meantime I'm going to get back to not working.

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Dear Nitwito',

I'll stand in for the gorgeous and gracious Miss Snark. Snarks like Elektras. It's predestined and part of ancient Minoan culture that Snarks like Elektras.

Pixies like Elektras. It's been that way since Atlas Shrugged, Homer met Odysseus, Philemon ran for it, and Pan discovered goats.

Miss Snark isn't picking on Elektra. She's sending you off to the crapometer for your edification, enjoyment, and education.

Say, do you like your oatmeal with honey and butter? Or do you just put sugar on it? And do you eat it plain or with milk?

Your answer will help me know if you're really a nitwit or not.

And, see, if you scoot your little self over there now, you can meet my Macedonian goat-pixie in an earlier version of chapter umm I forget 20? of Dragon Sword. Hold on a sec. ... ok back. Yup, chapter 20.

And just think, if you hate Pixie impertinence on Miss Snark's blog, here's your chance to corner fold my wing. You will need just a tad bit of a sense of humor over on the Crapometer though.

McKoala said...

I've had some awesome comments from the meter readers - some go for the global picture, some for the nitty gritty, but pretty much all the comments make me think, and sometimes knock me off my feet.

Making comments makes me think too, which is why before I sit down to write some of my own draft I buzz over there. It acts as my mental warm up (that and visiting Miss Snark, of course). Also, I hope I help people as they have helped me. (thanks sha'el - and add yourself to that list!)

Come on over...

Elektra said...

Sha'el, my baby bird would like to know if pixies ever make friends with birds. He says that he would be a very good friend to have. He has no hunting teeth, but he can always find the best seeds. His skill at wing grooming is unsurpassed. He loves nothing more than to listen to people talk, and is happy to sing in reply. Just stay away from shiny things, as he tends to get dsitracted easily.

Unknown said...

Ok, this week I've instituted the Boston Creme Pie award for those individuals who unselfishly serve humanity in whatever capacity, be it COM Hostess with the Mostess, (Elektra), or for comments I deem thoughtful, kind, considerate, blah, blah, yummy, icky, yummy....

This week's winner is Elektra. Elektra feel free to go pick up a Mrs. Smith's Boston Creme Pie and indulge your wildest fantasies. If you don't like BCP, so vely sorry.

I've also instituted the Boston Creme Suck Pie Face Award (without the Boston), for those anonymous individuals struggling to articulate those kind, loving thoughts that I know are just begging to come out, but are still imprisoned deep down in their beautiful souls for one reason or another. This is simply a wake-up call or reminder if you will.

We do have a winner this week. Anony-Twit-Mous...THWACK!!!

But just so Anony doesn't feel all alone, let me reveal that I myself have been winner of the Suck Pie Face award many times. It actually tastes pretty good once you wash your eyes out, and swab your nose.

Congratulations to both winners!

Mindy Tarquini said...

Have I ever mentioned that I heart Miss Snark?

Have I ever mention that I heart Elektra?

Anonymous said...

My opening got slammed at Evil Editors New Beginnings so I'm still licking my wounds.

Actually, I AM working, and passing my pages by two different local critique groups, and I'm restricting my blogging time to outside-of-writing-hours-only. Honest!

GutterBall said...

I'm superstitious. I cannot help myself. I simply can't allow anyone to read even a query and first page of the current WiP until it's done.

I'm so close! You can bet your sweet bippy that I'll post it there if it's still up when I'm done. At the current rate of output, that should be about two weeks.

*crosses fingers*

Thank you, Elektra, for providing such a useful, helpful, and all around good-full service.

Word ver: ljohc - French for "the joke".

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Dear Elektra,

Pixies can and do talk to most creatures. They get along with most, though I do remember a conversation with a crotchety dog when I was a newborn. He was very rude, but most of his breed is. Many breeds of dogs don't have the good sense that certain poodles have. They just think about food, sex, and keeping warm and marking things.

Pixies and horses get along remarkably well, and pixies have a connection to goats that goes back to Tanath, the mother of us all. She raised goats. There is that nasty rumor that suggests pixies are hard headed and stubborn because of her relationship to her goat, but I'm certain that's not true at all. We'd be that way anyway.... I'm pretty sure that last didn't come out a bit like I intended.

We like birds. Most birds get a tad jealous, so we don't often have the same deep friendships we have with horses. It's the wings. Ours are unfailingly prettier, can change colour, and we fly faster than most all birds. Some birds, particularly Eagles and Falcons are a bit snotty. They think they're above it all. Actually, as is all their species, they're bird-brains.

Elektra said...

Gutterball, take your time. Thanks to Miss Snark, the COM will be running for many weeks to come.

There's nothing better than waking up to an inbox full of Yo Mama's Computer jokes from the comments trail.

Ken Boy said...

Elektra's COM is terrific. I've received many excellent comments, but I've found giving critiques to be as helpful as receiving them.

Go to the crap-o-meter. (I'll now take my own advice.)

Anonymous said...

Like so many things, the dream of writing can sometimes be so much more satisfying than the reality of it. Unless you're actually successful at it in which case the reality is probably pretty satisfying after all, but still not as satisfying as the dream.

Of course I'm still going to try nanowrimo. one of those things I want to do in my life. Right up there with dying alone in my sleep in a house with a hundred cats. That's on the list too. :)

Knitty Yas said...

Consider my stuff submitted.

yeah, what writtenwyrdd said lol

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Dear Snowfie,

For me one of the best parts of writing is what happens before you set pen to page or fingers to keyboard. I enjoy thinking through a story. Sometimes I will experimentally write a portion of it as I imagine it through. It is satisfying watching a world come to life in my brain.

I'm thinking through a story I'm calling The Goat God's Daughter. I may never write it. I'm not happy with it yet. Close, but not quite. But I've entered a vivid world mostly of my own fashioning, though with a liberal borrowing from Ancient Egypt and from Babylonian history and myth.

Think of it as making babies. We have the sex; we carry the baby (or if you're of the male species, you watch your mate carry the baby and think you suffer as much as she); we bring it to birth, feed it, nurse it through bad times, share it with the world while protecting it from the world, and sweat to raise someone who will be a competent adult. Our child may never be famous or wealthy. But it is our child. There is satisfaction in being a good parent, and a bit of fun in the act that started it all. It's not who our child turns out to be, but what they turn out to be that's important.

So, after lots and lots of reflection, I feel that it's not the publication, but the act of creating and raising a story that's important to me. It satisfies me.

Would I like to be published. Yes. Will I regret it the rest of my life if I never am? No.

Have fun with the creation of worlds. Write. Write well if you can. Write as well as you can. But write. Worry about editors and such much less.

Did any of that make any sense?

Kim said...

Wow - Sha'el, how is it you aren't published? That sentiment was perfectly put and dead on to rights.

I agree wholeheartedly. Writing is something that is as necessary to me as breathing. I have manuscripts that will never leave my office, yet I cherish them as much as the ones I've sent out. I need to write. I always have. And whether or not anyone at Avon or Harlequin, or wherever, deems it worthy to share with the world, I will always smile and enjoy rereading. Just because.

and now, off to submit to the COM. Wish me well!

Anonymous said...

My goodness, Sha'el, to be included with critiquers like Ken Boy and MCKoala is, well... (blushes) awesome!

Shucks, I just hope I'm up to the challenge.

To those who are confused, The Spawn of Crap is the little baby Crapometer that sprung (sprang?) from the original Crapometer. Run your MS through it, and it is no longer crap.

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Dear Kim,

Why am I not published? It could be that what one agent so plainly and publicly said is true. My writing is "fatally flawed." I'll never forgive her for making our private discussion public, but she may be right.

I'm not pursuing publication with all my heart. Oh, I submit, but infrequently. There is a reason for that. If the reason abates, I will query my little heart out.

Partials of one book are sitting on four editors' desks or already in the recycle bin, and I don't know it. I have some articles out there, and I eagerly await their – probable rejection. I declined to submit a full manuscript to one publisher because of problems others had with them. I'm not sure if that was a good choice or not, but it is the one I made.

I've spent a great amount of my short, rather odd life communicating orally, speaking to moderate size and large groups. [Think from 50 or so to 10,000. That's probably a broad hint as to my secret life, huh? So, forget it as soon as you read it. Besides, I don't do that anymore.] Effective public speaking has a different pattern than does the written word. I write not too differently than I speak. (Okay, you American purists, I know the from/than argument. I'm using than. And I'm right. You're wrong! So shush up.)

Those who've critiqued my Pixie stories often comment on the voice that I've given my pixie, calling it charming or some such thing. They say it fits my pixie. Sometimes they will comment on word order or point to some archaic expression and puzzle over it. The great secret is that I didn't create a special voice for my pixie. It's my voice, how I talk, how I write. There is no special, well-thought-out voice.

The peculiarities, one editor called them "the nuances," of my writing are just me. I think that makes some of what I write hard to read or hard to follow. This is the fatal flaw, perhaps.

Writers, publishers and editors, agents and booksellers claim very little of my attention now. I have withdrawn into family and my circle of close friends. Personal circumstances demand this from me, and I'm pleased to comply. So, the ultimate reason may be that I put my energy into other things, things important to me, the life-essentials. Publishing is secondary to me right now. Later …. Well, we'll see.

So, I slowly submit or query. But there is no great burst of "let's get me published" energy.

Anonymous said...

I tried 'Spawn' a while back, and provided critiques as best I could, and got some wonderful feedback for the story I submitted. However, I found the blog format for critiques isn't for me. It had more to do with the limitations on my time and that I already participate in another online critiquing group whose format is more to my liking.

Anonymous said...

I am also a member of a private online critique group. The opinions of the members help me with the romance elements of my wip's but I depend on the Crapometer for the input of the guys as well. My current wip is sports oriented, and I need the input of writer fellas as well as writer bellas.