Closing in on 3500

3493 posts as of tonight.
Hard to believe, isn't it?

A couple of you have been here from the start (waving to Remodeling Repartee, Ami, Brenda Bradshaw, and ScaryX-first commenter!)

A heady thousand more just sailed in for the last COM (stats for Friday 12/15 were triple the usual highs on Mondays).

A lot of you have ruined a lot of keyboards for me (yes Miss Tarquini, and your bevy of bunions, I'm looking at you, and you too Bill E Goat).

A lot of you have gone to a lot of trouble to do wonderful things for me: gift certificates; charitable donations; songs! youtube videos! Mr. Clooney's direct line (ok, that's pending, but I know it's on your list).

All of you have my thanks.

I'm deeply gratified by your time and attention. Even when you think I'm my own nitwit. Especially when I AM my own nitwit. Even when I'm cranky (some of those HHCom posts WERE cranky as hell, it's true); even when I'm frothing at the mouth (Sobol anyone? SASE's? red letter offers!); even when you're spanking me for stealing poems and posting them regardless of copyright (Seuss v Snark- litigation pending).

You provide a voice behind the slush pile. Because of your comments and your email, it's much easier to remember there are real people sending work they care about--and not just nitwits who don't understand what "no paperclips" means. Every time I'm tempted to write "wtf" on a query letter, I can come here and rant. If it helps you, great. It saves my sanity...not to mention the wall plaster and the little dog's ears. You help me remember not to get too high and mighty; to remember I wouldn't have work I love were it not for the work you do.

You provide a way for me to think about my work beyond the daily grind. The need to write, or in my case attempt to write, cogently about this industry helps me think about it more logically and with more focus.

You help me learn how to talk about what I need, and what I look for. It took nearly 700 posts but I can talk about what makes a hook work a lot better now than I could three weeks ago. That's thanks to you, and your willingness to send me your work and have it snarked publicly. That took a good deal of your emotional will power and courage. Each of you who participated in ALL the crapometers have my respect and gratitude. Even the ones who "failed", especially the ones who got "WTF" in purple letters.

There would be no Miss Snark, "nice" or nitwit, were it not for you, the people who read this blog.

I don't take your time and attention for granted. Every time you say thank you, please know I also thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you sincerely.


Brady Westwater said...


Someone's kidnapped Miss Snark!!!

Who is this imposter??

Well, I guess it's who we've always known you are.

Happy New Year.

Anonymous said...

Three cheers for Miss Snark. It's been really helpful. And, think of all the future nitwittery you're avoiding! Blogs like this one mean that we writers no longer have to go to a bunch of writers' conferences to get our first clues.

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark, you're truly a wonderful lady.

No matter how snarky or short you may get, we always know there's a real, caring person behind it. I've never understood people who criticize or say you're "too mean"--they just aren't paying attention, because I've been here for a year and a half or so now and I don't think I've ever seen you be deliberately mean. Impatient, sure. Irritated, definitely. You don't suffer fools. So what?

You're still a wonderful lady, and the way you care about all of us shines through in everything you do, and in the few emails I've exchanged with you. And anyone who can't see that in your posts is, frankly, a nitwit.

You've cheered me up when I was down, you've made me laugh, you've made me think, and for that I will never stop being grateful.

You, and all of the snarklings, have made me feel like I just might belong somewhere.

Seriously, in a totally platonic way, I love you Miss S. Thanks so much for everything.

And I'm working on getting Mr. Clooney's number. I know somebody who knows somebody who knows Ben Affleck, and I'm hoping to move up from there.

--posting anon, proud to be one of the devotion

Anonymous said...

I've learned so much reading your blog, and it has amused me, too. Thanks for sharing. I know you had gin to drink and a celebrity to stalk, er call, but you took the time to share with us.

Alphabeter said...

WHO is this person posting? I want the one who is not so sappy without a very expensive reason?
WHAT are you still doing at a keyboard?
WHEN is the next next Crapometer (if you're not going to drink yourself into a stupor, I'll provide one gratis)?
WHERE is the luscious Agent C, lest we forget her attention?
WHY aren't you gin-dialing Clooney to offer KY as the new Ocean's 13 mascot?
HOW did we mere peons get so lucky? Or is it that Miss Snark got so unlucky? ;>D

Happy New Year. May the Crapometer disappear under a case of raspberry gin and Godiva hearts.

Anonymous said...

Happy New Years to you Miss Snark and to all fellow snarklings. May you begin your year gathered by your all loved ones and may you prosper in all your endeavors!


Anonymous said...

No kidding, Brady. Something's horribly wrong.

Miss Snark, if you can read this message, use your superhuman powers to save yourself! I know you've got 'em, otherwise you couldn't have gotten through so many HHcom entries so quickly. I'm still reading back in the upper 200s. (Of course, my powers are subhuman.)

And thank you, too, for showing us your side of the slush pile. You empower us.

I think in the new year I might start using my real name to post. But only when I'm sure I'm interesting and right.

Laura K. Curtis said...

Whoa...Miss Snark's been double-dipping in the gin pail again.

WTF would we do without you, Miss Snark? Happy New Year!

Katie Alender said...

You are so welcome! And right back at you.

none said...

That's one damn talkative vat.

Lauren said...

You are welcome, my friend.

JPD said...

Once you get past her barking dog, acidic prose and pointed stilletos, I knew we'd find a trembling bucket of mush where her heart lives...


Maggie Robinson/Margaret Rowe said...

After reading this, I feel like weeping and I haven't even had my first New Year's Eve drink yet. Perhaps it's time to remedy that. Thanks again, Miss Snark.

Southern Writer said...

In spite of your snarkiness, the true you shines through. It always did. No one gave more of themselves, their time, or their effort this year. No one ruined more keyboards. I'm raising a cup of cheer to you, and days of auld lang syne.

Anonymous said...

We only do this for you so we don't have to read a headline in the New Yorker about a madwoman running through Manhattan in red stilettos, screaming, "WTF??!! No staples! This is a mess!!!" as hunky firefighters chase after her with fire extinguishers.

Have a prosperous and non-snarky 2007!

Mindy Tarquini said...

*guzzles last of the Tanquer..tankay... tanqueermay...*
*finishes the gin*

*blows delicately into hankie, wipes tear from eye*

MG: Gosh, don't she talk beautiful?

KY (staring into gin bowl): You finished it!

*Flips the poodle a bourbon chaser*

MG: Yeah, but I did it mostly standing.

Deep, well-rounded off-stage masculine voice: Where do you want the Zydeco band?

MG: Hmmmm...what do you think, KY? Stovetop? She never uses it.


Bill Peschel said...

You've taught me quite a bit as well. About when to treat this art as a business, about how to speak up for myself when I need to, about how to keep boiling down the work into the hook. Even when I fall short, it's at a higher level than before (I hope, anyway).

And now, I'm glad there's agents out there who are willing to read thousands of words in the hopes of finding those few that are worth reading. Better you than me.

Have a wonderful new year.

McKoala said...

A thousand more! Wow.

I'm glad that you got something out of the Crapometer other than tired eyes and stuck down 'W' 'T' and 'F' keys. It's been great on this side of the screen.

I hope that makes sense. I have New Year Head today.

Anonymous said...

You rock my world Miss Snark.

Happy New Year!

Spy Scribbler said...

Aw shucks, Miss Snark. I'm a big fan. I gotta tell you, I read your blog every day. It's my little treat after I get my writing done for the day. Thanks so much for that, and all you do!

MWT said...

No no, thank you.

You're welcome, and thank you again.

And you're welcome again. Thank you.

...and you're welcome..

*defenestrates self to break the loop*

Anonymous said...

Aren't you supposed to be in the vat, Brady?

Anonymous said...

And another big Happy New Year to you too. Thanks for looking out for us, for yet another year. [sob, sniff]

We totally heart Miss Snark.

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark, yours is the human voice on the OTHER side of the slush pile -- the mysterious voice that we sometimes think of as an impersonal vending machine spitting out those dreaded "Dear Author" letters, that we imagine might be coaxed, with a special combination of the right font, the right first line, and various other secret handshakes we've carefully studied in writer's magazines and books, to send that glorious letter of acceptance.

You are the reminder that there's a real person opening our envelopes: a person who gets tired, cranky, and cross-eyed, who shudders at hackneyed phrases and swears at fancy, eye-searing fonts, who would like nothing better than to find a polished gem somewhere in all that dross, but the day is waning and she's been sifting the slush since early morning and hasn't found anything except a lot of "WTF?!?!"-worthy queries and a couple of "maybes."

You remind us that publishing is a business, not an ego-stroking machine; that rejection isn't personal because it's the work that's being rejected, not the author (unless the author makes a pest of himself and then, yeah, maybe it could get personal); that most people in this business are honest and hard-working and just trying to make a living, while those few that really are trying snooker the hapless author deserve to be pointed at and laughed at loudly.

Through the crapometer, we've learned that sometimes, rarely, but sometimes it really does work a little like the scene in A Christmas Story where Ralphie imagines his teacher reading the class essays, slashing at each horrid essay with her vicious pen until she reaches Ralphie's glorious theme about his beloved Red Ryder BB rifle, when the violins swell and she breaks out into songs of praise.

So even if most of us got a C- and "You'll shoot your eye out, kid," this time, we now have a much better idea of how the grading system works, and maybe someday we'll get that A+++ and the parade.

Anonymous said...

Well shit, pass the gin pail and the tissues.
Can't have my mascara running, for I've got a meeting to get to...um...in a dark alley.
I promised to trade the manuscript for The DaVinci Code 2 in exchange for George Clooney's phone number. ;-)

Cathy in AK said...

I'm not one of the regular (or irregular, thank you very much) commentors, but I am a daily reader. I've learned a lot from you and the Snarklings and can't wait to see what 2007 brings to Snarkville.

Thanks, and Happy New Year from the 907.

Anonymous said...

the thanks go to you, for pointing us in the right (write?) way

Anonymous said...

Believe me, you are appreciated. The best part of your blog is the tone: generous to the innocently bewildered, snarky to the willfully ignorant, and downright nasty to the predators in these bloody waters. Your wit, your intelligence, and your energy inspire me.

The crap-o-meters, with their deadlines and public floggings, have been a fierce incentive to do hard thinking and hard writing, even when I didn't enter.

Have a great new year, and illegitimi non carborundum.

Ciel said...

Happy New Year, Miss Snark and my fellow Snarklings!

I'd send you a bottle of bubbly (of which we have plenty - don't ask me how) but Charlie, our Yorshire Terrier, got to them first. He's singing love songs to the neighbor's cat.

ORION said...

This was beautifully said and I know appreciated.
Thank you Miss Snark.

Georgiana said...


We love you Miss Snark.

I hear your voice a lot when I'm writing and reading, just like I used to hear my riding instructor's when I was doing dressage. In both cases the voices are pointing out things I should be doing to make the finished product more elegant and attractive.

Thanks for all you do for us.

angie said...

I heart Miss Snark.

Except when she gets all mushy and *whispers softly* even kinda nice. Then she freaks me out.

But I still heart Miss Snark.

Bullet said...

Happy New Year and thanks for a great 3493!
I hope you rnew year is full of prosperity and snarkiness! Congradulations on making it through another crapometer or, well, most of one. Maybe a brand new pair of stilettos would ease the next bit? The old pair might be getting a little dull from all the stomping.
Thanks again, and keep Killer Yapp away from the champagne...and the gin.

Anonymous said...

So, does this mean you're going to represent my next book: The Goat-Girls of Mars and the Hidden Treasure of Zantithia?

It is a paranormal romance of a bazillion words. (We goats don't count past five with much skill.) The main character is a Sexy, SEXY French Alpine named Chèvre de Beauté.

She's called Marie by those who don't know her true name, but in her secret identity she's the Goat God's daughter, and very alluring. Besides her tail wags a lot, and that's what you look for, if you're a guy goat.

She saves the Goat Maidens of Mars from the evil demon of Chandra 6, who's escaped from some bottle rocket set off by an unknowing humanoid of diminished brain capacity.

Chèvre de Beauté calls upon all her gifts to corner the demon next to the Pyramid of Instant Gratification. She is briefly tempted to fall into his evil clutches (I think those are related to cars and you pop them, but I'm not too sure.) because demons from whatever-that-was 6 have goat horns. But cute as she finds his horns, she knows she must resist. She head-butts him into the open pit of nulentity in the heart of the pyramid where the demon dies quite painfully while thinking happy thoughts. Happy thoughts are always fatal to demons.

Then our heroine is left overcome with ennui. She contemplates returning to the Goat God's cave, when off in the distance she sees a totally handsome buck named William. She is so smitten with William (who is more handsome than any other goat) that she rushes off into his ... ok here's where i have some trouble ... what we do isn't exactly an embrace you know. It's more of umm springing with a short hop at the end. Anyway she rushes off to what ever it is we do, and she and William in the midst of consummating their eternal love see a strange growth on the back of the Martian wildebeest next door. This will lead to their next adventure; I just can't figure out what the growth is. I think it's green and maybe very dangerous and will threaten galactic society.

Let me know. I'm sure Donald Maas will snatch this up if you don't.


Bill E.

Kel-Bell said...

She beats us up, then brings home roses.


We know we should just walk away and go write our books, but we can't. We just can't.

You gotta understand, we LOVE her, and she loves us too, and hey, the bruises aint that bad...

Besides, it's really our fault. We brought it on. We provoked her. She's just doin her job, tellin it like it is.

We just need to be gooder when we rite, that's all.

Happy New Year Miss Snark,
I'll never send pages to anyone but you...

(Wink and a gin-grin)

Anonymous said...

There's just too much love going around here. Who spiked the gin?

Oh, and Miss Snark,

ur welcum.

Anonymous said...

Your generosity is great and humbling, in fact it's an inspiration. Thanks! If there's ever another Crapometer I'll be brave enough to sub.

r louis scott said...

Sometimes I think Miss Snark puts her heels in the closet and takes a nice bath and reads some Rosmary Sutcliff or some Mary Renault. Then she puts on her fuzzy red footy jammies, and while KY sleeps a fitful sleep with dreams of running squirrels, she sends us a message like this.

Thank you, Miss Snark. When I begin my queries, I may not be good, but at least I won't be stupid.

Happy New Year. And to your little dog too.

Anonymous said...

I visit Snark Central at least once a day (at least). Thanks!


Kitty said...

To my favorite blog of all time (no exaggeration), and to Miss Snark and all my fellow snarlings, I want to wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Maya Reynolds said...

Thank you, Miss Snark.

Wishing you all the best in 2007.

Happy New Year.

Sam said...

Thank you!!
And have a wonderful New Year 2007!

Anonymous said...

Sob. I was already feeling bereft at the ending of the HHC and now ... waah!

Your blog's a lifeline - a healthy dose of sanity and creativity. It's helped me to connect again. And makes me laugh.

Thank you.

Stuart Neville said...

The influence of this blog on my writing has been quite profound, so I can't understate its importance. Miss Snark's guidance is such that I ditched a WIP that was 20,000 words down the line and started a new one from scratch. It was the focus inspired by this blog that helped me complete a novel for the first time.

As if that wasn't enough, the process of refining a hook has helped me focus on what my novel is actually about and thus will greatly influence the rewrite currently in progress. So what if I got snarked (and deservedly so) in the HCC? The exercise was more than worth it, and Miss Snark's comments were constructive and useful. That she took the time to give a meaningful critique when she still had more than 500 to go (and with Christmas looming!)speaks volumes.

To cut a long story short, if I ever get published (as unlikely as that may be) it will be due in no small part to this blog.

So, uh, thanks!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Happy New Year from the Anonymous legion!

Anonymous said...

You're getting soppy, must be the New Year gin. Have a great 2007.

I've only been around a few months but your blog is No1 on my list and has helped me maintain my sanity. I even got a welcome dose of reality in the crapometer.

You are some lady.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Miss Snark. (And thank you for thanking us...I always knew you had an attitude of gratitude in there somewhere. *wink*)

I've been reading you since almost the very beginning (found you about two months after you started, then promptly went back and read those two months of archives in about a day and a half), and though I don't comment often, I read every day.

You're a treasure, Miss Snark. Thank you for such a wonderful, symbiotic, make-you-laugh-or-cry-or-both community here. We do cherish you.

And dang it, now I've got that song from Wicked in my head..."who can say if I've been changed for the better -- I do believe I have been changed for the better -- and, because I knew you, I have been changed for good."


Anonymous said...

Snarkles, my lovely botanical!
But, please, rest yourself, and venture through a bevy of gin soaked weeks, before you do such a noble but digital thing once more.

Anonymous said...

Wishing the best of a New Year to you as well. You've given me a lot of hours of your time, and I don't take that lightly. I appreciate all your hard work...and the delightful sarcasm. Oh, how I love sarcasm.

Anyway, George will be in town soon filming a new movie. (Fairly small town, not like NY. Here you can walk out your front door and see who's around.) I happen to know an actor who knows somebody who knows somebody.... I'll see what I can do. Happy New Year to you and the fluff muffin. My canine crew says for KY to come on down. They need reinforcements for the backyard squirrel patrol. Darn uppity squirrels. Act like they own the joint.

Kim Rossi Stagliano said...

I've learned a boatload reading this blog and am ready to enter 2007 with a bona fide hook and decreased nitwittery in my query.

Two weeks ago someone posted on a large writer's list that she was editing her MS for New York Literary Agency - and I (and many others)knew to send her a kind but to the point "run away! run away!" thanks to the work of Miss Snark and Ann and Victoria and others.

I hope to see all of your names on the bookshelves in 2007. Happy writing and Happy New Year. Thank you Miss Snark.


Stacia said...

Thanks, Miss S--but don't get all mushy on us!

We heart Miss Snark.

MichaelPH said...

I've learned countless in the last few months...more than I've learned in the last few years! Thank you Miss Snark! Happy New Year from Southern California!

writing this twice thanks to Blogger not Beta....

Kate said...

I'm only a newcomer to the blog, but I've already spent hours reading all the hooks, and going back through a decent amount of the archived posts. I do know that I'm going to keep coming back because it's funny and helpful at the same time, and that's always awesome.

You're great.

Kanani said...

Whether a writer is in a program or not, one of the biggest bugaboos is the agenting process. You've helped to demystify a lot of it. The countless hours you've spent should prove to anyone that you really do want people to learn and succeed.

This alone is comforting, given that on a writer's path he or she will have to combat the biggest obstacle of all: self-doubt.

So kudos, Miss Snark! Well done.

Miri said...

Book information? Other websites? Pssh. Miss Snark is all you need.

I'm probably one of the youngest of the devotion, but hey, if it heads off future nitwittery (and I hate being a nitwit), I'm happy to be here. We poor writers would be lost without you, taking so much time out of a packed schedule to do giant things like Crapometers or just post these massively helpful rants day after day.

Plus, these posts are almost always good for a lot of snarky entertainment value, and that's pretty cool, too.

Thank you, Miss Snark, and have a happy new year. You've earned it.

Unknown said...

Ooohhh, my poor head! Sinus headache of course....BUT...Thank Gott, I can still think on my back.(don't you dare go there)

Hey, you know this post reminds me of a song, by Daniel Boone's cousin, three times removed I believe,

"Oh you, You Light up My life, you give me hope, to carry on, you light up my days, and fill my nights, with.... wtf??? BRAIN FREEZE!.....It can't be wrong, when it feels so right, 'cos you, you light up my life!"

I don't know about you, but I feel ever so much love here today. She really really likes us (corny? says you)................

But I'm not fooled. Nosirree Bob. It's comin'....The Winds of Change are a comin'...Nope, that's not the right song...Oh, wait, "The Times they are achangin'...Bob Dylan?

Whatever, this temporary maudlin' drip into sentimentality will pass. And if I know MS, don't blink as time goes by.

While I'm waiting, I will conclude my comments by breaking into another song. Those of you from my generation of a century ago, will remember this one:

"HEART OF GOLD" Neil Young....

Anonymous said...

As one who mostly lurks, and wears her own rhinestone "#1 Bitch" lapel pin quite proudly at conferences, I've been quite taken with the take-no-prisoners truth of this blog. I learned something new every day. It's quite simply the leader of the pack (and I noe frum packs!).

Thank you for dishing such delightful snarkisity in the fight against writerly nitwittery. May your gin pail (and helpful advice) never run dry.

FYI--KY can find wonderful B-pins at nearly any dog show. Make quite a statement on a collar or tam.

Katie Alender said...

Have you seen this?

Evil Editor's Blog

(I much preferred yesterday's word verf: "fqtarz")

Anonymous said...

Too much gin! You're getting mushy. And so am I. *sniff*

Anonymous said...

You had me at WTF.

Best in the new year to you and KY.


Kim said...

Happy 2007 and thank you for sharing so much with us. Write well? Who knew?

And thank you for the jargon as well. I said Dear Dog out loud the other day and got a few strange looks in the process.

I heart Miss Snark, which seems to be the general consensus.

Can't hardly wait to see what the new year holds.

ps - also writing this for a second time thanks to beta... grrr...

Chris Eldin said...

Putrid Crap. O-meter.

Have yet to research my chapter on bed bugs. Doorstep needs rescuing from a medieval burial ceremony. I gained three pounds (you know, the appropriate crap-reading position is with mouse and snack in right hand, T.V. remote in left hand). Cable bill is probably due. Don't really know. My kids must have grown. Even though I haven't fed them since December 15.

Still all the while I log on. Looking for a picture of Brady swirling around in the vile, putrid vat. Killer Yapp taunting him. Go get'im KY! He deserves your wrath!

***Thank you, Miss Snark*** and Happy New Year!

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark, you are awesome.

But judging from the other comments, you already know that!

Merry New Year!

Heidi the Hick said...

Well. Kinda speechless from all the humbled gratitude going on here...

I've learned so much. I was too chicken to send something in. Since this HHCOM started, I've written hooks for five novels, three of which already exist, and rewritten them all many times.

I've also discovered through attempting a good hook that the novel itself needed more work.

I finished my latest novel YESTERDAY on the 31st...so that means I can spend 2007 rewriting it!!!!


Happy new year to Miss Snark and to all of my fellow struggling writers.

Bonnie S. Calhoun said...

LOL...You're all that...and a bag of chips, Miss Snark!

We are all grateful to you!

s.w. vaughn said...


Anonymous said...

This is unbelievably sweet. Wow, thanks. We look forward to a great new year with you and your snappy advice. Here's hoping this year's my big one.

kiss-me-at-the-gate said...

Happy new year, Miss Snark, and thanks for being just plain wonderful.

Jude Hardin said...

Happy New Year!

Alex Adams said...

Happy New Year, Oh Snarkalicious One. Many thanks for sharing your professional wisdom with us.

hopfuly wee r bettr riters coz of u. :D

Anonymous said...

And thank *you*.

Have a happy new year!

Kathy Rainwater said...

OMG!!! You actually made me tear up.

Hey, thank you, Miss Snark. You know we love you.

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark, I love you.

When you despactched my poor little entry (568) with a two-line lethal injection of vitriol & gin I cried.

Then I got really mad, rewrote it a bit longer and sent it to the editor at Juno.

Despite the holiday she came back with a request for partial by return.

I just needed that push you gave me to get going again.

It's back in the lab tomorrow to start work on cloning George Clooney for you. Do you want any special features?

A Paperback Writer said...

I've only been reading this blog since summer (and posting comments for only a couple of weeks), but I've found it to be rather the sacred key to the mysterious box of publishing. It's so very nice to see why some of my stuff has been rejected in the past (besides the stuff that was just crap to begin with -- but, hey, ya gotta start somewhere). Thanks to the snarky remarks on 682 hooks, I now (thank you very much) am the proud owner of at least one clue.
Thank you, your highness of Snarkitude, for not leaving a newcomer wondering what a clue gun was for.

Kate Thornton said...

Happy New Year Miss Snark -you keep me writing and laughing.


Mark said...

What Bill Peschel said. The Guinea Pig theory works both ways. Hopefully I won't have to explain this further.

Marcus T said...

So, you do have a heart after all?

I wish I could give you a heart felt "thank you" in return, but I am a heartless bastard that hates all this touchy feely crap.

d said...

Now cut that out!

I'm wiping a whole new variety of dampness from the keyboard.

You skeered me good too. I thought the post was going to end:

so go forth and prosper, farewell.

whew. and double whew.

Divine Bird said...

Thank YOU, Miss Snark! Sometimes we authors need to remember there's a person on the other end of the slushpile, too. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, golly, Miss Snark...

We all heart you, and your evil twin, too (the snarky WTF one with the yappy little dog).

Hoppy New Year, and may the New Years Bunny bring you lots of good stuff.

LindaBudz said...

Aww, I think Miss Snark's heart grew three sizes that day, when she watched that awesome video y'all put together for her!

Miss S, if it's true that what goes around comes around, you've got a wonderful 2007 ahead of you. All the best to you and KY!

Anonymous said...

I thanka Miss. Snark by way of a tanka - OK so I'm no poet, but the heart is all there...

Morning laughter and
Evening education is
Miss Snark’s specialty
Through two summers and winters
We have all been blessed.

Your the best!

Anonymous said...

And thanks Miss Snark, from another long time reader who's been here every day, but just doesn't squeak up much.

Reading your blog is one of the highlights of my day, because apart from all the useful stuff I learn, it is just great fun.

All the other mice around where I live just roll their eyes every time I begin another monologue starting with:

"I was just reading on Miss Snark's blog ..."

Writing on Board said...


"No, I won't say it."
"I won't."
"A little love."
"I refuse. This will only embarass us both in the morning."
"It's a New Year. A little sugar never killed anybody."
"She'll be back to her old nasty ways in no time, you'll see."


-A.E. Roman (the quiet kid who tries his best to sit in the back of the class and just listen and learn.)

Anonymous said...

Kelly Bell,

You've nailed it for me. The cycle of wannabe-published-violence.


Alley Splat said...

Thanks, Miss Snark - you're great, and greatly appreciated; your blog is an astounding (much-needed)education, and so sharp and funny it's addictive.

Happy New Year to everyone, too.

Anonymous said...

Just remember darling,
Every time you ruin a keyboard, an angel gets a fifth of gin.

Richard Lewis said...

Thank you, Miss Snark. Your blog is a highlight, educational and insightful.

Anagrammed, your name (done twice) comes out to MARKS SINS, SANS SMIRK

Anonymous said...

Ah jeez, Snark's gotten into the gin pail and she's all, like, schmaltzy and stuff. KY, you put on a pot of coffee. Make it strong. There's a good pup. The rest of you, let's get her to bed and try and get her comfortable. Mister Clooney, if you could possibly help get her into her night clothes, that'd be an enormous help. OK people, let's MOVE, we got us one drunk agent on our hands!!!

(seriously, "thanks" don't come close to saying what I think about what you've just done for us/put yourself through).

COM guy # 28

Nancy Beck said...

Hope your gin pail was filled to the brim on New Year's Eve. :-)

And here's to you, Miss Snark, for giving all of us wannabe writers (and pubbed ones, too) an education and a laugh.


Anonymous said...

Blame having a large New Years Eve dinner party on my delayed appearance here (New Years day was spent cleaning up) but better lat than not at all: Thank YOU Miss Snark. I hope that, newbie as I am, only a few month now, I am not as clueless as I was. Must be doing better as I was not as "Snarked" nearly as badly as I thought I might have been in the COM. Now to redo and resubmit another round. And get back to my new ms. Thank you for the "no tution payment" classes, your blog is my lunch break from the 8-5 drag.

Anonymous said...

Quick, Cheri Killer! Get your human outside and after squirrels! She's gone maudlin! Sober her up and bring her back to normal! I understand her draining the gin pail after nearly 700 hooks, but her Snarkies CANNOT see her like this! It ruins her image! Quickly, force her outside!

Maggie Bichon

Jude Calvert-Toulmin said...

Thanks for all the great advice since last April when I started reading. This blog educates and informs, and sows good seeds which are already springing up into trees from which others gather fruit. It is an inspiration to us all. Even when you're cranky, ha! :)

Elizabeth Krecker said...

You're awesome! Thank you for all you put into this blog, and into our collective careers!

jeff resnick said...

I'm one of the newer newbies...what you do for all of us day in and day out is amazing, helpful...and entertaining! Thx.

Anonymous said...

I'm late to the party, but I have to add my thanks for your time, generosity, and words of advice. Here's to another Snarky year. Rock on 2007, and let the gin pails overflow!

Word verification: nktfei
The climactic phrase in The Day the Earth Stood Still: Klaatu barada nktfei

Brenda said...

Oh wow. I think I just crapped my pants. I've been gone from the writing world for several, SEVERAL long months. I finally come back and find my name in one of Miss Snark's posts. Fear gripped me and my bowels loosened, then my husband gave me a look like I'd lost my mind at long last. On top of being usually sweet, which is a bit frightening in and of itself, Miss Snark knows my name. Extreme pucker-factor.

You are an outstanding woman with an abundant amount of patience that I, and I'm sure many others here, could never possess as you attempt to teach us while we so greedily absorb. Whenever anyone asks me advice about being a writer, I tell them: Memorize THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE, read ON WRITING, and go to Miss Snark. The lady knows her sh*t.

A thousand thanks would still be lacking, but know they are sincere.

Bill Peschel said...

You're very welcome. It's been a pleasure have my work being eviser ... evicorated ... evic ... cut up by you.

May you last for another 3,500 posts.