Hell is freezing over

Killer Yapp: Miss Snark! Miss Snark!

MS: what? I'm busy. I only need three more rows to finish.

KY: Doorbell Guest!

MS: KY, I'm not paying you to announce guests. Go deal with whomever it is.

(some time passes)

MS: KY! Where are you? I need a new pen!




Miss Snark hauls sorry ass out of chair, focuses eyeballs, notices it's dark outside, and looks around for the missing hound.

Note on credenza (in purple ink):

Dearest Miss Snark,
I'm so sorry I missed you. Didn't you get my email? I flew up from a location shoot to take you to the new Choclateria. Your faithful companaion said you were busy with something called Sudoku which translates as IdiotTimeWaster? I didn't exactly understand his yapps.

Love, George

(anguished scream)

(sound of splat ias Miss Snark consigns her sorry self to the Brady Westwater Memorial Vat).

(sound of door closing as Killer Yapp heads to the after hours dog run and round of canoodling with a fetching Pomeranion minx).


Unknown said...

If you don't recall... that was my 'evil' twin who got vatted - and even he got out. So I am still alive and still shit kicking and if you don't believe me - check out who's running Fashion Week in LA....


or www.lacowboy.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

haha! hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Dear Miss Snark,

Beware the gateway puzzles. In no time at all, you'll be agonizing over kakuro too. I have already lost my husband to both. He's been replaced with a puzzle solving machine.

A Longtime Lurker

none said...

Don't worry, Snarky. I have it on good authority that your visitor was George Carlin, NOT George Clooney!

You can't expect a poodle to know the difference.

Miss Snark said...

This is KY not just some run of the mill pound hound. He can identify George Clooney at 50 paces, blindfolded (with Burberry plaid tie of course) AND chase off any paparrazi without mussing his coiffure.

Katie Alender said...

I find it hard to believe that Clarence "Killer" Yapp would use the word "guest".

Mary Akers said...

Alas, I suffer from the same affliction and so feel your pain. Admitting that you have a problem is the first step.

Anonymous said...

Ah sudoku... you should try nonograms next *heh heh heh*

Anonymous said...

It's gratifying to know agents can waste time as well as writers.

Just read about this: http://secondlife.com/. Might be the ultimate timewaster. Sure beats crosswords. I'm stayin' away.

Anonymous said...

It's crossword puzzles for me--sudoku scares me. I'm afraid I'd never get anything done!

By the way, you can catch George Clooney right here in Greenville South Carolina! He's filming Leatherheads with Renee Zellweger. He's been making the papers every day, taking time out to pose with fans. What a sweetheart!

Come on down! The weather's gorgeous!

Mindy Tarquini said...

I'm arranging an intervention. It's disguised as a gin pail.

Anonymous said...

My name is Bonnie and I'm a sudoku addict. After completing the thirteen-step program, here's how I'm handling my addiction. I say to myself, "Self, if you write one tiny scene, you can do a sudoku." And there's always my sponsor to fall back on if she's not at a kakuroics-anonymous meeting.

Anonymous said...

Killer Cheri!
I understand your frustration at being ignored by your Mistress, but please don't say that you have fallen so low as to seek out a Pomeranian! You know how they like to gossip. If I could just get MY Mistress to fly me to NY, I'm sure I could show you a MUCH better time!
Maggie Bichon
(verification word: foxvaj, how I feel after seeing the professional groomer!)

Anonymous said...

Would this be a good time to pitch my new book; How to beat your Sudoku addiction without resorting to Seppuku? ;)

Anonymous said...

George has a few bits on the HBO HD Boffo special Wednesday at 12:30PM

Anonymous said...

And let's not forget...Babble!


Competitive online multi-player 5x5 Boggle, with interactive chat, available live 24-7.

Dear God. I lost months in that hellhole...I still have flashbacks that send me screaming to the online dictionary in a cold sweat...

LadyBronco said...


I am crying for you.

Oh, to lose George to a cursed game of sudoku!

*hands over a bright, shiny, new pail-o-gin to her Snarkiness.*

Anonymous said...

I hope Killer Yap understands by now his grievous error in not raising much more of a ruckus to get your attention! For petesake!